


cover my needs

by trouserhouser



Category: Formula 1 RPF
Genre: M/M, Uncertainty, catching feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-21
Updated: 2020-03-21
Packaged: 2021-02-28 21:29:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,068
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23244043
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/trouserhouser/pseuds/trouserhouser
Summary: some may interpret too much and some too lessif it's you and your friend - that's a mess
Relationships: Charles Leclerc/Max Verstappen
Comments: 4
Kudos: 43





	cover my needs

With a smile on his face, he looked down from the balcony. His shoulders were warmed by the man, who he couldn’t stand in the past. To have him by his side, feeling his presence and listening to his calm breathing, befogged all his senses. The one and only thing that functioned near him was his heart, to which he always wanted to listen to. It afflicted him for several months and since a few weeks it literally tortured him. He knew what was up with him. Why he was delighted after every conversation they had, why he always wanted to spend time with him and why he cancelled appointments, which weren’t so unimportant.

Max liked watching his glowing eyes, wanted to be captured by them and never ever be released. He couldn’t imagine kinder eyes, special ones like his, that would only lay down their ability to judge, when he went to sleep at night.

Max liked his cheeky mouth, the soft rosy lips, that would only shut up when he felt like it. Despite the sassy words coming out, his voice was simply silvery.

Max liked his soft hands, which were decorated with thick blueish veins (and he always had a weakness for that). He imagined intertwining their fingers, how his hand would fit so well with Charles one.

Max hidden shyness didn’t open doors for a confession so easily. It dulled his feelings and didn’t let him talk about them with a clear mind. The words in his head went into each other, faded and lost their meaning, when he only thought about confessing. Uncertainty was his bigger problem with which he didn’t know how to deal with. How would he know if Charles was feeling the same?

Occasionally, a thought strolled through his mind, that wanted him to just spill it out. Not to think about all the comments that could destroy him, the emptiness he might be feeling, when he gets rejected. His aching heart, the choked lump in his throat or his wobbly knees… But every time he watched these intense eyes with strong expression, he couldn’t get over it to pollute his reputation. He had to protect their good name and not get conflicted with his shameful feelings.

It was a big proof of trust to him, that Charles would lay his head on Max shoulder from time to time, when they were standing so close together. He wouldn’t show this type of affection in public but here right now on the balcony it just felt so natural that Max closed his eyes and enjoyed the moment. He slightly feared that Charles would pull away if Max would only breath in too hard or make any other tiny movement. Charles shouldn’t misinterpret his joy as discomfort. This led to Max not daring to move a millimetre, whenever Charles would feel comfortable enough to lay his head down on his shoulder. He only focused on the deceptive feeling that this man would be his.

That he would be allowed to shut up his naughty mouth with only a kiss.

That he would be allowed to hold his hand tightly, every time they went outside.

That he wouldn’t flinch, when he grabbed his waist and cherished his neck with his own lips.

That he would allow him to love him. Dearly. Intimate. Heartfelt. Deep.

Charles pulled away after a few minutes. Max felt pure misery for three seconds. Would he loose Charles even if he wasn’t owning him yet? He knew that he was out of touch with reality, but this didn’t stop him from imagining several scenarios in his mind. Pictures, he built up and wasn’t proud of, showing Charles under him, begging, full submission and sweaty skin gliding under his touch. Max didn’t fight these thoughts anymore. The heavier he tried to stop them, the faster they came back. Even though his sexual thoughts didn’t disappear that easily, the hardest thing to distract himself from was disgust.

The fact that he dreamed about being Charles boyfriend, giving every single little touch a meaning and focusing more on NOT leaning in for a kiss, than listening to his words, when on the same time the other isn’t even considering Max could have these thoughts, is terrifying. If Charles was indeed straight (which he assumed), then he is utterly ashamed of the fact, that he always interprets too much.

On the other hand, he couldn’t believe that his made-up scenarios would simply die because of a rejection. His subconsciousness would haunt him at night.

They went inside because the temperature outside dropped way under the point, where a t-shirt would be considered appropriate clothing. Max laid down on the couch and turned on the TV, when he noticed awkward Charles.

“What- “

“Could we get a blanket?” Max blinked and watched his friend with an open mouth.

“Of course.” He stood up and untangled the chaotic folded blanket, which waited for many months in the corner of the living room to be used. Max feared that it would have an unpleasant scent, but it smelled alright. He threw the beige blanket over Charles, who got in a comfortable position in the meantime. As Max wanted to sit down, Charles held up the cover and invited him to join him. He smiled shyly but felt secure in no time.

Occasionally, Charles would put such effort to make Max feel like there would be something more than just a plain platonic friendship. The dutchman didn’t judge him for that (no, he was glad his friend did all of it), but sometimes it got too much to bear. Not now though, Max was getting comfortable under the sheet plus he could almost feel Charles arm, which he put behind him. Max intensified this gesture by laying his head back into the cushion. He waited for his friend to react, impatiently faking interest for this stupid series, that ran on TV. He was surprised, when he felt Charles fingers stroking through his hair and a lot more excited as he didn’t seem to bother doing this longer than five minutes. Max closed his eyes and went completely lost under Charles soft touches. He melted slowly but surely and captured this short moment deep down in a drawer back in a corner in his memory.

If this was peace, Max wouldn’t dare to ruin it with his egoistic feelings.


End file.
